New Officers?
by Z Star The Hidden Dragon
Summary: This is a little introduction to my OC’s. Since it will take a while to post my stories. The OC’s are being interviewed by the original characters with hilarious results! 1st DW Story!
1. Introductions

Game: Dynasty Warriors

Genre: Humour

Disclaimer: I don't own Dynasty Warriors just the characters I made up.

Summary: This is a little introduction to my OC's. Since it will take a while to post my stories. So my OC's are being interviewed by the original characters with hilarious results!

WARNING: Don't steal my characters! If ya do I'll come after you!

Z Star: I'm the author of Dynasty Warriors Poetry. If you haven't read my poems or talked to me before hi! This is my first DW story, I hope you like it.

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_**New Officers?**_

**Introductions **

_The whole Kingdom will go mad, for they cannot find good officers anymore…_

"Ok let's try this again…" Sun Jian grumbled rubbing his temples.

"It's so hard to find good warriors days!" Liu Bei snarled leaning his head on his hand.

"EVERYONE IS BLEEDING CRAZY OR COMPLETLY… COMPLETELY… I CAN'T FIND A CLEAN WORD FOR WHAT I'M THINKING RIGHT NOW!" Cao Cao yelled loud enough for all of china to hear and slammed his table.

"The next applicant that comes in, you can have him!" Dong Zhou said.

"Shut up you big fat pig!" Yuan Shao screamed at the slob for no reason.

Everyone was stressed out… and it wasn't because of the new soldiers. Everyone in the three kingdoms army was there. Wei, Wu and Shu were there, even Zhang Liao, Zuo Ci, Yuan Shao and Meng Huo. All of the greatest leaders were there. Well… if you can call all of them _great_.

"Who are you calling a pig you self absorbed… Eh… Diao Chan! Make up a good insult!" Dong Zhou ordered.

"Finish your own damn sentences!" Diao Chan snapped at her fat lord. "Besides Yuan Shao has a right to call you a pig… you look like one…"

"WHAT! HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME!" Dong Zhou screamed.

"Oh come on, you know she's only putting up with you so she can have Lu Bu kill you and make her father happy!" Sun Shang Xiang pointed out in a nonchalant way.

"WHAAAA?" Everyone exclaimed looking at the Wu Princess. Among the stares was a glare coming from a certain songstress we all know. Boy was she in for it later…

"Hehe… Nothing! I said nothing!" Sun Xiang grinned covering her tracks. It would have been easier if she didn't nearly fall off her chair.

You see what I mean? With each other's hate for one another, nothing but chaos could come from this…

"Why did we have to do these interviews **_TOGETHER_** anyway?" Sima Yi growled. "I mean, wouldn't it make more sense if we let people go to the kingdom they wanted to join, instead of having to bear each other's company?"

"Yeah that **_would _**make more sense, but **_someone _**thought there be less **_pressure _**on the citizens of china if we picked the warriors suited to each kingdom! That doesn't make any bloody sense!"

"Stupid Emperor! Stupid author of the story!" Everyone whispered under their breath.

"Ahem!" Coughed the foot soldier that had been watching the whole scene in silence. "Excuse me my Lords-"

"AHEM!" All the girls snapped.

"And Ladies. But another candidate is ready for another interview." The soldier smiled.

"ARGH!" Everyone groaned. Some of them banged their heads on tables, massaged their aching heads and some of them even sharpened their weapons.

"Fine! Bring him or her in." Sun Jian said, not looking forward to meeting another officer.

"I swear if it's another Mary-Sue I cut her open!" Zhen Ji growled.

"You won't be able to with that flute." Cao Pi said above a whisper.

"What's wrong with my flute?" Zhen Ji asked.

"Well you can hardly call a flute a weapon can you! It doesn't even have a blade!" Cao Pi exclaimed.

"SHUT UP YOU INSENSITIVE BEAST! HOW COULD YOU TALK TO YOUR **_WIFE_** LIKE THAT!" Zhen Ji cried slapping the first emperor of Wei across the face. Everyone gasped at the sight. And at Cao Pi's bewildered face. "That will teach you to give me some respect!"

And she sat back down like nothing happened.

"Too bad these officers can't be more like Li Wen." Liu Bei sighed. "He never looks for revenge, he isn't a bad ass and most importantly he's NORMAL!" Everyone in the kingdoms besides Shu growled, grunted and glared at the virtuous king.

(A.N: Li Wen belongs to ecnal nogardnap.)

"Li Wen is so great! Li Wen is so normal! Why don't you just marry him!" Cao Cao spat at the green leader.

"Shut up! You're just jealous that you can't find a good officer anymore!" Liu Bei pouted crossing his arms.

"Yeah! Don't make fun of Li Wen!" Xing Cai said. "You haven't even met the guy yet you're ready to make fun of him!"

"He joined Shu though…" Cao Cao pointed out.

"So?"

"I can make plenty of insults for Shu!"

"OoO LET ME AT HIM! LET ME AT HIM!" Xing Cai growled taking out her fork and shield, but unfortunately her father was holding her back.

"Easy girl, just ignore the goat." Zhang Fei cooed.

"GOAT!"

"My lords!" A soldier interrupted.

"AHEM!"

"And Ladies." The young man sweat dropped. "The New recruits are in the next room waiting for you..."

**_To be continued…

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_**

Z Star: That's more of a prologue then a chapter but next chapter you'll start seeing some of my characters Ok? Please don't flame me Ok, because it will get better. This fic was inspired by my friend ecnal nogardnap. Thank you!


	2. The Monkey Boy

Z Star: Hey! I just wanna say thanks to all the people who reviewed and who didn't flame me:) Oh and Street Pizza! I'll let you know when I use Peng Yuan Ok? So this is the first OC I'm going to show you people! And here it is…

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**The Monkey Boy **

_A guy with a tail and pure of heart…

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_

"In the next room!" Cao Cao questioned. "Why are they in the next room! You said there was another recruit, I thought you meant there was **_ONE _**of them left! You said there was **_ANOTHER_** candidate, and candidate stand for **_ONE_** person!"

"Did I say that?" The soldier grinned sheepishly, tightening the grip on his spear. "I'm sorry but I don't think I did Lord Cao Cao…"

"Oh really! REALLY? **_REALLY!_** Hm… oh I see now! YOU ARE TOO THICK TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ONE PERSON AND A COUPLE OF PEOPLE! IS THAT IT? IS THAT YOUR PROBLEM? IS THAT WHY YOU ARE SO-"

"Father take deep breaths!" Cao Pi advised when Cao Cao started looking like a red balloon.

"Remember what the Doctor said about your blood pressure!" Xiahou Dun warned.

"Breath in! Breath out! Breath in! Breath out!" Xiahou Yun instructed and the Wei leader followed them.

"'Sigh' Ok I feel better now…" Cao Cao said taking his seat again.

"Umm… Mr…" Yue Ying asked the young shoulder.

"L-L-L-Ling." The young man stuttered.

"Mr. Ling. Maybe you should go and take your break now. Thank you for today." Yue Ying said escorting Ling out of the main hall. When she came back she gave the Hero of Chaos a tongue lashing.

"Now was that really neccesary? You almost made that man cry!" Yue Ying said putting her hands on her hips.

"Wow, that's the 5th victim this week!" Ling Tong snickered.

But everyone was silenced by the knock of a door. The first one to be interviewed was ready.

"Come in!" Sun Jian said.

"I wonder what this one will be like!" Xiao Qiao whispered to her sister.

"Probably another boring foot soldier Xiao." Da Qiao airly muttered.

"Where is he? Hello? Anyone?" No one saw the new recruit come in, eyes searched for a new person residing in the room.

"Down here!" A small voice called. Sun Jian put his hands on the table and leaned over. Everyone followed his actions and their expressions were priceless. They're faces were like this OoO.

There was a small boy. He had messy black hair and coal black eyes. He was wearing a red gi and a pouch. He also carried a long pole. He must have been at least 4 feet tall, though he seemed a little pudgy.

"Hi!" He grinned. Everyone blinked at least once or twice. Was this child really ready for war? Did he even know the consequences? He couldn't have been more then nine or ten years old. Liu Bei was the first to speak.

"Umm… what's your name young man?" He asked in a friendly way.

"Xue Ping." The boy said.

"Right… and how old are you?" Liu Bei questioned.

"I'm fourteen."

"Fourteen…Fourteen!" Liu Bei gasped.

"Now they're really isn't a need to lie about your age Xue Ping." Sun Jian began on another lecutre before Xue Ping interuppted.

"Oh no sir, I wouldn't lie. I am fourteen. I just have a case of dwarfism. It runs in my family…."

"What's dwarfism?" Cao Cao asked, cocking an eye brow.

"Oh, it's when you becoma a shorter size then an average person is. It happened to me during puberty and since then I've been like this."

"Is it a disease!" Yuan Shao asked, getting out his sword to swipe away the monkey boy.

"Oh no, it's just a genetic malfunction. It's not contageuous." Xue Ping explained.

"Phew! Well that's a relief!" The golden man sighed, taking his seat again. Everyone glared at the man with such fierce venom seeping through, shaking their heads. "What? I don't want to die of sickness like Sun Ce."

"W-WHAT!" Sun Ce gasped.

"Just kidding Little Conqeuror. Don't worry a healthy young man like you will not die of an illness." Yuan Shao smiled. But that still didn't stop Sun Ce from sweating a river.

"Ahem! Ignore the country's idiot Xue Ping." Cao Cao suggested earning a hateful glance. "So here's your first question. Why do you want to join the army?"

Xue Ping blinked twice. He took a moment to think before he answered.

"Well Mr. Cao Cao, it's because I like to fight!" He grinned. "I've been doing since I was three and I like fighting! And I want to see new places!"

Everyone blinked once. Then twice.

"Really?" Da Qiao asked.

"Yes Lady Da Qiao."

"You're not seeking revenge on any one! You're not-not trying to make up for a tragic past?" Ling Tong asked.

"Nope." Xue Ping answered plainly. Everyone was silent.

"I GET DIBS ON THE BOY!" Everyone screamed.

"What! That's not fair Liu Bei, you already have a normal officer!" Sun Jian pouted.

"Um, gentlemen? Before you start fighting over the guy, we shouldn't we go on with the interview?" Zhu Rong asked. Everyone mumbled something darkly and sat back down for the hundrenth time today. "Ok Xue Ping. Who taught you how to fight?"

"My Grandpa. He was a marshal arts teacher before he retired." Xue Ping said.

"Who raised you Xue Ping?" Sun Quan asked.

"My Grandpa and my cousin. Grandpa is always nice to me but my cousin… she's kind of a spoiled brat if you know what I mean."

"Oh we all have an idea what you mean." Da Qiao said looking at Xiao Qiao.

"What? Why is everyone looking at me?" Xiao Qiao asked.

"Ok here's another question." Zhou Yu said before anyone could say anything to his wife. "Do you have any strange qualitys, like having blue hair or red eyes?"

"Hmm… Well, I do have this tail…" Xue Ping showed his back to the audience to reveal a red, long tail that resembled a monkey's. He even wiggled it about, scaring the others. This O.O was the look on their faces.

"O-o-oh my heavens!" Zhang Jiao gasped, before fainting.

"Is that real!" Zhao Yun asked, getting up and started tugging on Xue Ping's tail.

"OW! OW! Stop that hurts!" Xue Ping cried. Zhao Yun gently put him down and ran back to his seat.

"It's real all right." Zhou Yun said. Everyone in the room paled.

"Of course it's real! My Father had one, and his father and then his and etc!" Xue Ping said, rubbing his sore behind. "Why are you acting so weird? Doesn't everyone have a tail?"

Everyone shook their head.

"Wouldn't you have noticed by now that no one else has a tail?" Lu Xun asked.

"Well… no." Xue Ping answered. "I've lived up in the mountins for most of my life. Infact I don't even know why you guys are fighting."

Everyone fell off their in anime style! Except for Cao Cao, Liu Bei and Sun Jian. They just stared with their mouths open and their eyes as big as plates.

"Do you even know anything about the three kingdoms?" Liu Bei asked.

"Yeah, of course! Why would I be at this interview if I didn't? My Grandpa told me stories about you guys…" Xue Ping giggled.

"O-o-o-ok." Sun Jian said. "Ahem, someone ask the next question, PLEASE!"

"Here's your next question Xue." Sun Ce said. "What kind of weapon do you use?"

"This!" Xue Ping held out a long pole that was saddled on his back. All the great warriors stared at the strange weapon.

"That's it? It doesn't have a blade, does it have magical powers?" Pang Tong asked.

"No. But it can do some cool things! Watch!" Xue Ping grasped the pole and stared at Dong Zhou. He ran up to him and jumped at the fat man and whack! He hit Dong Zhou right on the head. The fat king fell backwards and fainted. Everyone slient yet again.

"Well… Dong Zhou is a weak target… but we'll give you the extra points anyway!" Zhuge Liang smiled, and everyone else agreed.

"Ok here's another question. What is the story line that the author who made you up gave to you?" Zhou Tai asked.

"Well, I'm just a guy who travels a lot, and meets the guys from the three kingdoms. But theres one problem… everywhere I go, one way or another I always get everybody else into trouble. With hilarious results!" Xue Ping grinned. "It's due to my clumsiness and stupidity really."

"I'm sure you're not stupid. You seem like a bright young man." Diao Chan assured him. Xue Ping's cheeks darkened.

"Well… I have to disagree Madame." Xue Ping replied timidly.

"All right. Here's your final question. Which kingdom would you prefer to fight for? Hint Shu!" Liu Bei coughed the last sentence under his breath.

"Don't try and influence his decision Liu Bei!" Cao Cao growled. "Besides I'd think he'd be right at home in Wei."

"Oh sure, a nice boy like him. All he needs is to be manipulated into an evil villian, like you Cao Cao." Sun Jian commented.

"Now you listen to me!" Cao Cao spat, but before another fight could ensue, Zuo Ci butted in.

"Ahem! Do not worry about that question Xue Ping. We will decide which Kingdom would best suit you. Until then, you can stay in the castle." Zuo Ci smiled.

"Thank you sir!" Xue Ping bowed to the generals.

"WAIT! There is one more thing! Ladies? Do you feel the need to love Xue Ping or possibly marry him?" Huang Gai asked. The girls examined Xue Ping with their eyes, some of them holding their chins and tilting their heads a little.

"Hmm… he's cute a puppy dog way, but I would never ask him out." Diao Chan answered.

"He seems more like a guy who you can just be friends with." Da Qiao commented.

"Not my type. Even if I wasn't married." Zhu rong said, crossing her arms.

"What's married?" Xue Ping asked. No one asnwered him.

"He's nice, but a little short for me." Sun Shang Xiang said, scratching her neck. All the other girls nodded in agreement. "Sorry Xue Ping."

"That's Ok! I don't find you guys attractive anyway! I didn't find out what a girl was until I met my cousin last year!" Xue Ping said, putting his hands behind his head.

"WHAT!" All the girls glared at the little man, backing him into a corner.

"Now we know why he said he was stupid." Lu Xun said quietly to himself.

"N-n-n-not that you aren't all pretty! You're just not my type! And I need someone closer to my age! And height!" Xue Ping said quickly.

"Oh! Why thank you!" All the girls smiled, going back to their seats. Xue Ping sighed with relief and wiped his forehead. _Thank God I'm not a Gary Sue! They would be on me like dogs. _

"Ok Xue Ping. That's all for now. We'll call ya back if you a get a job." Zhao Yun said. "Oh and please find a way to hide that tail. It really creeps me out!"

"No promises sir Zhao Yun!"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH XUEEEEEEEE PIIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!" A loud, sqeuky voice came. Large, thumping footsteps came spreading fear down all the male generals spine's.

"Is that what I think it is?" Gan Ning said.

"Oh no!" Lu Xun said, ducking under his table.

"Oh no…" Xue Ping mumbled slapping his forehead.

"Who is that?" Jiang Wei asked.

"Oh cousin Xue Ping…" A girl with long auburn hair and blue eyes stepped into the room. She was quite pretty, but had a mischevious glint in her eyes. "Oh! I didn't realise that there was a room of strapping young men!" She sqealed in a high pitch voice, that sounded like someone scratching a black bord.

"RUN MEN! RUN! MARY SUE ALERT!" And all the bishies scattered, even the other men didn't want to take a risk of attracting the poisonus viper.

"Fu Ping! Stop scaring my new bosses! Go back to your room!" Xue Ping yelled, his hair standing on end.

"All right! No need to go into monkey mode peewee!" Fu ping snapped. She turned heel and winked at the male generals. "I'll be back boys!" She blew a kiss and left.

"I am so sorry about her!" Xue Ping apologised, bowing a bit. "My Grandpa told her to be on her best behaviour, I'll make sure she doesn't come within a mile of you next time."

"We'll hold you to that." Everyone grunted. They all came back from under the tables and dusted themselves off. It was another lucky escape for the three kingdoms…

_**To be continued…

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**_

Z Star: Sorry I took awhile updating, but I hope the long wait was worth it. Till the next chapter! Oh and I wrote some extra information on Xue Ping. Hope you like that too.

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**BIO:**

**XUE PING**

**_Inspiration:_** This little guy was inspired by Goku in the Dragon Ball series (Don't own it) I got the manga one day and Xue Ping appeared in my head.

**_Name Meaning: _**Xue "Snow or studious" Ping "Peaceful".

**_Age: _**14

**_Birth Place: _**Mt. Fuji (Made up)

**_Weapon:_** A long pole that does incredible tricks.

**_Family:_** Grandfather 'Xue Ting' and cousin 'Fu Ping'

**_Personality:_** Sweet and pure of heart, but a little slow and has a short temper for his cousin. He's basically happy go lucky.

**_Appearance:_** Hair: **_Black and wild._** Eyes: Coal **_Black _**Skin: **_Fairly pale. _**Clothes: **_A red gi tied with a blue ribbin around the waist and black boots. _**Height: **_4 feet _**Weight: **_A little chubby, but not fat._** Extras: **_Has a monkey tail for some strange reason, that's even unknown to me. _**

**_Story line: _**He leaves his small home in the mountins and goes around exploring the three kingdoms causing trouble for the others. Along with his cousin, who has a devious plan.


	3. The Bride & The Random Warrior

Z Star: Argh! I'm so sorry that I have not updated for awhile! But I've had a lot to do. Deeply sorry. Ok in this chapter there's going to be three Ocs. That's right three! But one of them doesn't belong to me. Peng Yuan belongs to Street Pizza and Yu Qi Mei belongs to me! And Governer Yu. So enjoy this chapter… Sorry if it sucks...

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**The Bride and The Random Warrior**

_A girl who needs a husband to get the crown, And a guy who's so random you'd think he had split personalities! _

"Hm…" Her auburn eyes searched the large palace halls that stretched out for what seemed miles. The girl took another look at the directions one of the guards gave her, but the map was no help to her. "Darn it, where am I?"

"That's what I'd like to know!" Another voice shouted. At the end of the hall the woman spotted a man close to her age, dragging himself across the floor. He couldn't move due to the heavy armour that adorned him. He stopped right at the other woman's feet and smiled up at her.

"Hehe. Hi! I'm Peng Yuan!" He greeted. The other girl caught his friendly grin and offered her hand.

"I am Yu Qi Mei, from Ji Xun." Yu Qi Mei replied, shaking Peng Yuan's hand. "Um, do you need any help?"

"Me? Oh no! I'm fine." Peng Yuan said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "But a little help might be nice!"

Yu Qi Mei raised her eyebrows. How did this friendly man go from being friendly to sarcastic?

"Oh, heh, well, sorry, I just asked b-b-because- I was being polite! I- oh…" Yu Qi Mei stuttered, fiddling with her hands

"No, no don't say sorry!" Peng Yuan lightened up, giving the girl a smile. "It was not your fault and you were just being nice!" Peng Yuan grinned taking Yu Qi Mei's hand and patting it. The Auburn eyed girl raised an eyebrow questioning the young man before her. "Now would you be a dear and help me up?"

"Uhh… sure." Yu Qi Mei grabbed both Peng Yuan's hands tightly and dragged him off the ground. Yu Qi Mei groaned at the pain that shot up her spine, she wasn't very strong and Peng Yuan was heavy! But that was probably due to the armour that covered him head to toe. Finally he was lifted from the floor and Yu Qi Mei took a break.

"You look tired. You should exercise more if you want to get into the army!" Peng Yuan smiled.

"Thanks for the tip." Yu Qi Mi huffed, taking in more air. "But maybe you shouldn't wear so much armour…"

"AND LET MYSELF BE VULNREBLE TO THE ENEMY! HA! NEVER!" Peng Yuan yelled taking out his twin haleberds, but the slippery little buggers jumped out of his hands and hit one of the metal armour that adorned the large hallways. The first one hit the armour right on the head and the second… well… just say it's lucky it didn't have any family jewels. "Eeep! Run!"

Peng Yuan took Yu Qi Mei's hand and started running in a random direction. Before taking his twin haleberds with him, leaving behind the dented armour.

"Peng Yuan wait! I can't run in high heels!" Yu Qi Mei whined and she was right. One more step and one of her heels broke, she had fallen flat on her face, . "OW!"

"Quick! Get up! Before- Uh-oh…" Yi Qi Mei turned to her side to see what Peng Yuan was gaping at. It was Huang Gai of Ling Ling…

"Uh-oh…" The young maiden smiled up at the burly protector of Wu. "Good evening Sir… Um, I can explain all this."

"Sure. You can explain it to Lord Sun Jian that you were vandelisnig the castle." Huang Gai grunted before he grabbed the two young officers.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Peng Yuan screamed like a little girl, pounding on Huang Dai's back, who was carrying the warrior over his shoulder. "HELP! LET GO YOU BIG BRUTE!"

"O.o Ok…" Yu Qi Mei trailed off. She looked at the man who grasped onto her wrist. "Um… Lord Huang Gai…"

"Yes?" Huang Gai waited to hear what the young woman wanted. Yu Qi Mei was never one who could keep her cool under pressure, she was a twittering and fiddling with her dress.

Well… uh… you see… uh… heh me and my friend here… eh… oh nevermind sir…" Yi Qi Mei muttered, while a blush creeped on her cheeks. Huang Gai blinked and thought to himself…

_You still have a way with the ladies Huang Gai…Even in your old age! _He smiled to himself, still carrying the other two off.

"Where in heavens name are the next candidates! They're 20 minutes late!" An impatient Lu Meng mumbled, tapping his fingers on the table.

"Be patient… they're probably still wandering around the castle. Darling, did you make those maps?" Zhuge Liang asked.

"Yes my husband. I gave them to Ling and he's handing them out at the entrance right now." Yue Ying grinned, holding her husband's hand. Zhuge Liang couldn't fight back his small grin.

"Oh get a room you two!" Cao Cao chided. "There are young children present!"

"Will you stop saying we're children?" Lu Xun said, along with the younger dynasty warriors. To interupt the ongoing debate between the kingdoms, the door slammed open.

"My goodness Huang Gai! What are you carrying!" Liu Bei gasped at the sight.

"Two vandels, oh prince of virtue!" Huang Gai grinned, putting the annoyed Peng Yuan down. "They put a dent in one of the royal armour! And it's family jewels!"

"YOU CAN'T PROVE I DID IT MAN! YOU HAVE NO PROOF MAN! AND THE LORDS OF THIS COUNTRY CAN TESTIFY WHAT I SAY! CAN I GET AN AMEN!" Peng Yuan shouted, looking around for some answers. All he got was strange glances. "What? No religious people in the room? No fans of The Fighting Temptations?(1) All right…"

Everyone blinked once. Then twice. Then the weirdness and confusion in the air was gone… for now…

"Ok…" Yu Qi Mei said to herself. "Excuse me my Lords, but I can explain everything!"

Sure, that's what you said to me…" Huang Gai grinned.

"Please. Let me plead my case." Yu Qi Mi asked of theLords. Silent mumbles and whispers filled the hall until an agreement came.

"All right young lady. Please state your case to the court." Sun Jian asked of the young lady. Now if he were dressed in a black robe and had a hammer, Sun Jian would look like a judge!

"W-well Lord S-Sun Jian, it happened like t-this." Yu Qi Mei stuttered under the gaze of the warriors. She exlpained everything that happened to the 'jury' and apologised for Peng Yuan's behaviour. Then told them the reason why they were in the castle in the first place.

"I see…" Cao Cao said.

"We'll let you off this time." Liu Bei smiled at them reassuringly.

"WHOOT! THAT'S MA MAN LIU BEI! THE BEST GUY IN THE WORLD!" Peng Yuan grinned. "CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE?"

"Uh… sure…" Liu Bei humoured the young man and slapped his palm. "Ahem! Now, which one of you would like to have their interview first?"

"I think it is obvious!" Peng Yuan said, turning to Yu Qi Mei and bowing his head slightly. "Ladies first, milady." The other girls cheeks turned a rosy colour and lowered her head in embarasement.

"Oh… thank you Peng Yuan." Yu Qi Mei said, curtsying the other man, as he left the room. He slammed the doors loudly behind him.

"Strange fellow isn't he?" Zhou Yun said.

"He certainly got a… random personality." Zhu Rong commented. Scratching the back of her head.

"Ok Ms.Yu Qi Mei, would you tell us a bit about yourself?" Jiang Wei asked.

"I am from Ji Xun. My father is the governer, and I am next in line to take his place. But I would also like to work in the army for awhile." Yu Qi Mei explained.

"Are there any other reasons for wanting to join the army Yu Qi Mei?" Gan Ning asked.

"… Well… yes. My father wants me to get married before I turn twenty one. Or some pompous jerk who works for him will get his job. So he sent me here… to look for a husband…"

Everyone was quiet. The men and boys were all anxious.

"RUN!" All the men screamed going back to their hiding places like a pack of animals who were being hunted.

_What a bunch of wusses! _Sun Shang Xiang thought.

"No, no! Don't worry, I don't WANT to get married, and I don't plan on making one of you gentlemen my husband. I just want some work experience." Yu Qi Mei explained. "But I'm pretending to for my father…."

"OH!" All the men sighed with relief, getting back to their seats.

"So, you're not after us, in anyway!" Zhao Yun smiled. Yu Qi Mi, stuttered something under her breath. "What?"

"Well, there is one catch, if you don't want me to marry any of you. After I get the job, my Dad is coming to visit and he will do anything in his power to get me hitched. So… could one of you pretend to be my boyfriend? Or my Dad won't let me join the army." Yu Qi Mi asked with a nervous grin. Everyone stared at her in horror, like she was something that came out of Amitaville Horror (A.N: I don't own it, but great film! But filled with blood, ergh!).

"Are you freakin kidding me?" Sima Yi spat out. Before Yu Qi Mi could answer the rhetorical question, someone from outside knocked on the doors.

"Yu Qi Mei? It's daddy, I've come to meet your soon to be husband!" Governer Yu shouted through the door. "Oh! Excuse me my Lords, but may I come in?"

Yu Qi Mei pleaded to the officers with her desperate filled eyes.

"Uh, you may come in Governer Yu." Sun Jian said. The doors opened to reveal and middle aged man, with a growing beard covering his warm smile.

"Now where is my new son in law?" Goverener Yu grinned, revealing his white and bright teeth. Everyone stared one another, trying to come to an agreement to who was going to be Yu Qi Mei's _husband._

"I am!" Dong Zhou declared, wrapping an arm around Yu Qi Mei's waist and had almost chocked her to death. Governer Yu was utterly horrified at the huge, disgusting man, he recognised him from all the horror stories of his behaviour with woman. Had his daughter gone mad to pick such a suitor?

"You?" Governer Yu asked. Haha, don't confuse the two.

"Yes."

"You? You're my new son in law?" Governer Yu asked again, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming. No, dreaming wasn't the correct word, having a nightmare! Yes, that was correct.

"Yes!" Dong Zhou grinned, with half the room glaring at him and the other half staring in disgust.

"Get off my wife you swine!" Zhang He suddenly exclaimed, making everyone gasp, including Yu Qi Mei. Zhang He winked, to signal everyone to play along."Yes she's my wife! So get lost!" Zhang He snapped at Dong Zhou, getting out his claws. The fat man backed away and hid behind Lu Bu.

"Oh thank Heavens! Well, it's nice to meet you Lord… What was your name?" Governer Yu asked.

"Zhang He."

"Oh, marvelous! Aren't you going to give your soon to be wife a kiss?"

Zhang He and Yu Qi Mi skin paled and gasped. They looked at one another, grimacing at the thought of having to kiss each other. It wasn't as if the other was hideously ugly, not that looks mattered to them though, they both knew inner beauty was more important, but they didn't want to kiss a total stranger they had just met.

"Hehe, but father we have only just met a few days ago." Yu Qi Mei grinned nervously.

"Nonsense! You are to be married, it does not matter." Governer Yu smiled. Zhang He and Yu Qi Mei both wished a giant black hole would come and suck them up. But they might as well have gotten over with it. They moved their faces closer, still with a disgusted expression stuck on theirs and time seemed to slow down. Even a certain flute player gazed in utter abhorrence. As soon as the _to be married couple _lips an inch away from another, Zhen Ji rose up and shouted,

"STOP! I cannot let this go on!" Zhen Ji screamed. Everyone stared at her, and she realised what kind of situation she put herself in. She become flustered and her face resembled a traffic light.

"Why not Zhen Ji?" Cao Pi asked.

"Because… Because… Zhang he is gay!" The whole room gasped and Cao Cao even fainted! The tension was rubbed off Zhen Ji and onto Zhang He. She wiped the sweat off her head, now no one would remember her jealous fit.

"Ah… yes! I am _VERY_ gay!" Zhang He said in a weird sounding voice. He put his right hand on his hip and his left behind his head, to convince Governer Yu.

"Uh… OMG!" Yu Qi Mei said pretending to be shocked. "Whatever am I to do? I cannot believe that my husband is gay!" She sighed, trying to pretend she was about to faint. But Governer Yu didn't buy it one bit.

"Yu Qi Mei, you haven't found a husband have you?" Governer Yu asked, crossing his arms.

"Well, I… you see…" Yu Qi Mei stuttered, she couldn't think of a way to get out of this situation!

"Yu Qi Mei, we are going home this instant! That will be your punishment for lying to me!" Governer Yu said in a stern voice.

"But father!"

"No buts young lady. If I can't trust you to be honest about finding a husband, how can I trust you fighting thousands of men?" Governer Yu pointed out. Yu Qi Mei lowered her head in shame, tears flowing down her pale cheeks. Until someone came through the door.

"Peng Yuan! To the rescue!" He cheered. "Hello my beloved! Give me a kiss!"

Peng Yuan grabbed Yu Qi Mei and pulled her in for a passionate smooch. The younger Dynasty Warriors started hollering and cat calling, while the couples smiled knowingly at one another and the older guys shook their heads and said 'Young love…'.

Peng Yuan released Yu Qi Mei. She was utterly overwhelmed, she had just shared her first kiss. Even though it was so sudden, she quite enjoyed it. But she would never admit it. A horrible blush crept on her cheeks as Peng Yuan smirked at her and winked.

"Uhh…" Governer Yu began. "Is this your husband Mei?" She nodded. "Well that changes everything! I am sorry for accusing you of lying my daughter. Now! I must spread the good news! I will see you tonight dear!" Governer Yu went out the door and was gone for now…

"Um…" Yu Qi Mei turned to Peng Yuan who still kept smirking down at her. "Thank you for helping me have a chance of getting into the army Peng Yuan. You are… are very good actor." Was all the girl could say, without embarressing herself.

"Who said I was pretending?" The young man smiled. Now Yu Qi Mei could pass off as a traffic light.

"Oh-Oh my… Um, please excuse me!" Yu Qi Mei ran out of the room leafing alot of smiling faces.

"You know, even though they are very strange people, they make a wonderful couple." Zhu Rong grinned.

"Aren't you going to go after your girl Peng Yuan?" Huang Gai asked, but the Pang De wannabe ignored him.

"HEY! YOU'RE PANG DE!" Peng Yuan squeled, getting out a pen and some paper. Pang De stared at him, surprised, he never knew he had a no.1 fan before. "WILL YOU GIVE ME AN AUTOGRAPH! AND SIGN MY TWIN BLADE HALEBERDS!"

"Uh… sure, I guess I could." Pang De smiled sheepishly. So he gave Peng Yuan what he wanted and the random warrior went off.

"Meet my hero, check! Get the girl, check! Now what's on my list? AH! I forgot to get some baozi for dinner!" Peng Yuan gasped.

_**To be continued…

* * *

**_

Z Star: Again, sorry I took so long. Oh and Street Pizza, sorry if I didn't get Peng Yuan's character right, but I did my best. So here's some info on the two characters Yu Qi Mei and Peng Yuan.

1) The Fighting Temptations is a movie, that I don't own.

* * *

**BIO:  
YU QI MEI **

**_Inspiration: _**I came up with Yu, when I was watching Princess Diaries 2(I am huge fan of Meg Cabot's books) and I thought, what if someone was in that kind of position in the DW's time? Then poof! She was created.

**_Name Meaning: _**Yu "Jade, honour, rain or happy" Qi "N/A" Mei "Plum or beautiful"

**_Age: _**18

**_Birth Place: _**Ji Xun

**_Weapon: _**Black feathered fan (Like Sima Yi's)

**_Family: _**Father 'Governer Yu' Mother 'Madame Yu'

**_Personality:_** She's friendly but kind of shy. But once you get to know her she opens up a bit and becomes a little perky. Her bad points are that she lets people like her father tell her what to do.

**_Appearance: _**Hair: **_Long and brown, tied back. _**Eyes: **_Brown _**Skin: **_Very pale_** Clothes: **_Lavender dress with gold and black trimmings, like Zhen Ji's DW 4 outfit._** Height: **_Five feet 7 _**Weight: **_Skinny, but not too skinny. _**Extras: **_Wears a gold hairband. _**

**_Storyline: _**She has to marry if she wants to become Governer, or she will lose her birth right.

* * *

**BIO: **

**PENG YUAN**

**(Curtasy of Street Pizza) **

**Appearance:**

Hair: Apparently, this guy's never heard of a comb.

Eyes: A deep-looking shade of brown that looks like murky water from the local well.

Skin: Tan, but only from what little skin he shows.

Clothes: Armor and lots of it consisting of every piece of a complete set (full plate in some places, chain mail in others) and colored somewhat teal with a blue dragon logo painted to make it seem like it's curling around the torso. And no cape! He trips over them too often, even when they're not his.

**_Height:_** 6'3", which is a lot in those days.

**_Weight:_** 210 lbs without armor, a lot more with the armor

**_Weapon:_** Twin halberds, but instead of the pick-looking halberds Pang De has, they're blade halberds! Yay.

**_Extras:_** Because he wears all that armor, movement is limited to a crawl with really loud footsteps.

Personality: Random, but seems to have a likeness/weakness for baozi.

**_Bio:_** Rather than going anywhere, he stayed in his birthplace of Xuchang where he trained every day and every night until the call to arms to stop Dong Zhuo. He was one of the volunteers for the fighting force and was placed under Cao Cao's command (hint, hint). His first battle took place at Tiger Trap Pass (Hu Lao), and his first piece of action was Li Ru's archer ambush. He was one of the many soldiers pwned by those bowmen, but not before pounding the crap out of some archers.

So... yeah, no angst, no Goth-ness, no pact, just generic soldier #15319. Why he's random, I'll tell you later.


End file.
